Some conversations that made me laugh this week:

"M, put your Pull-Up on" gets you this...

Scene: Kitchen, I'm halfway listening to A because I'm trying to make dinner for the kids and we are running late because we went to the store to buy a gift (I also totally forgot gymnastics) and didn't plan the trip well enough...
A: Mama, can you call me Hannah???
Me: Um...what, honey?
A: Could you call me Hannah?
Me: You're pretending to be Hannah?
A: Yup.  So could you call me that???
Me (barely listening): Yes, sure, I'll do that.  Hi, Hannah, how are you?
A: So, I'm Hannah now.  I'm going to open my birthday presents!!!!  Bye! (trots into the living room to open the birthday presents we bought for Hannah)

Today, after school, we are driving to the Living Museum to see the Butterfly House (which we didn't see last weekend because we went to Hannah's birthday party and it wasn't open yet)
L: Mama, when I grow up, I'm not going to buy a house, I'm going to build one.
Me:  Ok.  That sounds like a great idea.
L: And I'm gonna paint the walls all red and yellow and blue and pink.  Because those colors go together.
A: What about purple, Buzz?  I like purple, it's one of my favorite colors.
L: Oh, yes, I'll paint some walls purple.  But, Mommy, what are Emma's favorite colors???
Me: Umm...I think pink and blue.  But I'd have to ask for an update.
L: Oh, pink and blue, right.
Me: Why? Who is going to live in your house?
L: Well, me and Emma.  And all the kids, of course.  That's what you do when you're married, you live in a house together.  And our pet peregrine falcon. She will be named, Frightful. We're going to live in the Catskills.
** Can you tell I'm reading him "My Side of the Mountain" right now?

Last week, again, picking L up from school.
L: Mommy, I want to get some baby ducks.
Me: Umm...why???
L: I want to tether them to our back porch.
Me: ???? (And starting to feel a little worried)
L: Because then the peregrine falcons will come and I can make friends with one and teach it to hunt for me.  They'll come to eat the ducks and then I'll catch them and we'll be friends.  Waterfowl are their food source, you know, Mommy!

At gymnastics today, A is energetically showing off her jumping-jack skills (again) for my friend, Jen.  Jen's daughter, Mia, is attempting to jump with her, but they are both wearing those silly jeweled shoes (Mia calls hers her "diamond shoes".  A is infinitely impressed.)
A: Mama, I have jewels on my shoes.
Me: Yup, you sure do.
A: I'm gonna call these my "Jews."
**Fortunately, Jen was much quicker-minded and jumped in with the suggestiong that she not call her shoes Jews, but instead call them her "sparkly shoes".  Which was approved.  I was too busy laughing to give any direction.

Yesterday, L dug $0.35 out of the cupholder in the van and handed it to me.
L: Here, Mom.  This money is taxes, like what Daddy pays.

And finally, last weekend, L was playing with a ton of Army men Jen's husband gave us (they were his toys when he was a young lad, but as he had two girls who are totally unimpressed by Army soldiers, he finally gave them to us).  He carefully lined up the men on two different sides with their tanks behind them and then had two walk forward and say:
First Soldier: Hi, I'm French, I'm a good guy.
Second Soldier: Hi, I'm German.  I'm NOT a good guy.  But do you want to be friends???
French Soldier: Sure, let's be friends.  No more fighting, okay?